I was trying to draw a quick funny comic too but then this horrible comic happened
If you are about to offer someone a suggestion for dealing with a problem they’ve had for a long time (like, years), please stop. There is a thing you probably actually do already know, but aren’t thinking about right now.
Imagine that they offer you the following terms for this advice: If they’ve already heard that suggestion, and either they have indeed tried it or they have a very good reason not to, you owe them five dollars. If it’s new, but it doesn’t help, they owe you twenty dollars. If it actually helps, they owe you a thousand dollars.
Remember that, if every sentence starting with “have you tried?” directed to them about this issue were under these terms, they would probably be pretty well off financially just off that revenue stream, and could easily make a living just talking to people about this problem.
Yes, your friend with severe insomnia has considered reducing their caffeine intake. Yes, your friend with severe ADHD has considered trying to make a to-do list. Your depressed friend has tried “smiling more” or “trying to think positively”. There is only one exception; the person who is about to give you well-meaning advice has not tried thinking about whether you’ve likely already heard it ten times or more.
Y’know people say shit about social media along the lines of ‘OMG no one cares what anyone had for breakfast’ and like.
I do? I care. I’m pretty sure a lot of people care. I want to hear that the people I care about are having delicious breakfasts or saw something odd at work or flirted with a cute barista. Or just any little thoughts they have that they feel are worth sharing.
I’ve always kind of assumed that’s how you’re supposed to feel about your friends.
Read from the bottom up. This is important.
Think I’m going to delete my Facebook and Tumblr.
Don’t really think it’s a good idea for me to be interacting with a few people on here.
Why can’t there be a male hooter’s equivalent where male servers are shirtless and highly sexualized for their bodies and looks
Male Strip clubs. You’re thinking of male strip clubs.
No. Not a male strip club. A strip club is a strip club. I want a place called Cahones where waiters wear Speedos and are forced to stuff if they don’t fill out their uniform well enough. I want them to giggle for my tips. I want it to be so normalised and engrained in our culture that women bring their daughters there for lunch (because whaaaaaat the wings are good! Geeze sensitive much?) where they’ll give playful little nudges like, “Wouldn’t mind if you dad had those. Heh heh heh.” that their daughters don’t even understand but will absorb and start to assume is just the normal way grown up women talk about grown up men. I want to playfully ask my waiter if I can have extra nuts on my salad and for him to swat my arm with an Oh, you because he knows if he doesn’t his manager will yell at him. I want other men to pretend to like going there so I think they’re cool. I want to go to Cahones during my lunch break at work and when I come back and tell the other women in the office where I went they chuckle slightly and the men around us suddenly feel self conscious and they don’t know why.